Can we skip to the good part?
On unfinished books and remembering every chapter of our story matters
“I’m not at the good part yet,” a girl from my book group said about ultra-marathon runner David Goggins’ memoir “Can’t Hurt Me.”
Without having read the book, I somehow knew exactly what she meant.
She wasn’t at the part where the person had overcome immense challenges to do something triumphant and extraordinary. She was still in the not-so-inspiring part of a book she had specifically picked up to be inspired. The part of the book where Goggins is struggling and unaware of his capabilities and greatness.
Her comment made me think of a book I’d abandoned reading several months ago: Viola Davis’ memoir “Finding Me.” Like the girl in my group, I had picked up this book with a hope of being inspired. If Viola Davis went on a journey to find herself, then I, a mere mortal, could too. I knew the contours of Davis’ story, but more importantly, I knew how much I respected her as an artist and person. Almost 10 years later and I still remember the goosebumps I had while listening to her powerful speech at the 2015 Emmy Awards when she became the first Black woman to win outstanding actress in a drama series.
But I found the book difficult to get through — not because the writing wasn’t good, but because Davis has been through some serious stuff. We see her as this accomplished actress, but her path to becoming the Viola Davis we know and love was far from easy.
So I temporarily paused my reading before I got to “the good part,” Viola’s breakthrough.
But imagine if Viola had stopped before her breakthrough. Imagine if Goggins stopped before his. Imagine if any of the innumerable people who’ve ever defied the odds and have left their mark stopped short of doing so.
I recently learned that John Steinbeck once said, “I’m not a writer. I’ve been fooling myself and other people. I wish I were.” JOHN STEINBECK whose writing made up at least half of mine and my peers’ assigned high school reading. Imagine he stopped writing.
There are many stories like this — Stephen King threw out his debut novel and his wife dug it out of the trash, Melissa McCarthy told herself that if she didn’t make it in Hollywood by age 30 she would give it up, only to receive a call days before her birthday that she landed the role of Sookie in Gilmore Girls.
We want to skip to the good part — both of the books we read and of our own lives. But think about it: would we even want to read the books from our heroes if they hadn’t gone through tough times? Would we even revere and respect these people if they hadn’t known struggle and hadn’t experienced ups and downs? What would a story from them even look like: everything was peachy and then I lived my dream and got even richer and more famous and life got even better? Ok, cool story?
Would you want to read a memoir about how people who were already successful became even more successful and never experienced any hiccups or disruptions?
No, of course you wouldn’t.
If you’re going through a difficult moment, I’m not here to be toxically positive, gloss over the very valid feelings you may be feeling, or tell you that tough times build character. It sucks to feel like you’re far away from your dreams. It sucks to feel like things aren’t going your way. It sucks to feel like you’re in a season of your life questioning when things are going to feel better.
I don’t know your specific story, but whatever mountains you might be facing, I’m here to remind you that a lackluster or difficult chapter doesn’t mean a bad book. A bad day (or even days) doesn’t mean a bad life.
This belief is why I love the rise of main character syndrome. Why shouldn’t we understand ourselves as the protagonists and writers of our lives? Sure, you could argue that it makes people more self-involved, but I have always found the idea of thinking of our lives as broken down into chapters or seasons very helpful. If these next 50 pages leave something to be desired, then maybe we’ll see some redemption in the next 35. We are on the hero’s journey after all. A hero’s journey that will result in triumph and rebirth, but will also be marked by trials and failure. We were never promised otherwise.
I know you’re ready to skip to the good part. I know you’re anxious to bypass the obstacles and get to the other side. But trust in the timing of your life. You can’t rush it.
Every single chapter of our story matters. Every single chapter has made us who we are today. And in the context of the whole book, they will all make sense.